The Big Dreamer

Be the Change You want to see in the World

I only trust me

Hidden I am
And hidden I shall remain
Hidden from the world
All its tumultuous pain
Hidden from the friends
Who are foes underneath
Wolves in sheep’s clothing
Their intentions discreet
Hidden from the liars
Who never mean what they state
I’ll make sure that my heart
They never manipulate
Hidden within my shell
They will do me no harm
Heart buried deep beneath my armour
No need to be alarmed
But how lonely it does get
When you hide who you are
For the sweetness of companionship
Is so very far
But maybe that’s better
From their oncoming pain I’m free
I’ll remain by myself
At least that way I’m sure the only pain …comes from me

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The things I wish I understood

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Sorrow

I know it well

But for what reason

I can never tell

I’m usually quite happy

On the surface …yeah I am

But this sorrow brews inside me

Waiting for its time

Like lava it erupts from deep within

And rises high above

Taking away my passion and zeal

For everything that I love

Rising higher and higher

Until it bubbles in my throat

I cannot speak

I cannot scream

I can only write these notes :/

Dearest sorrow

You cling to me like paper stuck to my shoe

Tell me why you’re here

Tell what you want

Tell me what can i do

What is it that I lack…that draws us to each other?

Wont you please tell me ..my old friend?

Let me be joyous once again

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Note to self

Lick your wounds

Get back up

You’re better than this

And you’re better than him

How did you allow things to get this far

How could allow yourself to fall this hard

You always knew it was temporary

You were temporary

You always knew he was full of shit

Bt yet you handed him your heart anyway

Like an innocent fool,

you gave him what you guarded so obsessively

You gave him what nobody is even allowed to see

And he touched it

And caressed it

And kissed it

And he made it feel like it was on the sweetest fire …one that warmed your cold core and surged through your body

Breaking every barrier you’ve ever built

Until touching turned into stabbing

And kissing turned into biting

That fire soon peeled away at all of your layers…..leaving you bare and exposed…and rejected

You gave him what you showed no one

And he kicked it

He didn’t care about its beauty

About the intensity that hid within

You knew this would have happened

But you can’t help who you fall for

Can you?

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2:13am

Its 2:13am

I lay on my bed

So overcome with desire,

I can feel your lips on mine

Your palm running against my inner thigh

Making its way to the soft flesh on my chest

Touching me everywhere in between

Your tongue in my mouth, hungrily taking whats slowly becoming yours

And only yours

The taste of you fulfilling my needs but making me want you even more

You pull me closer and its not enough

I wrap my thighs around you and feel you growing

Your grinding into me now

Sending ripples of desire through my body

And it feels so good

And I like it

And I like you

And I want you

Its 2:13am

And i lay on bed

…………..Alone

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Stranger on the Greens

I feel as though you’re what I’ve been searching for

Those eyes send to me, messages from your sub-conscience

Telling me,

that you speak the language of my soul

But I may never know you

A pinch of courage and a dash of confidence

is all that is needed

From me, as well as from you

For your eyes tell me, that you feel this way too

That you yearn to know the identity behind my smile

and to render yourself to the passion that ignites…..

when our eyes do happen to meet

That brief moment turns into an eternity of longing stares

Longing to know you…..longing to know me

All we need is a dash of courage and a pinch of confidence

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Battle of the Heart

I want someone to share my dreams

Someone whose eyes can see right through me,

Someone who would notice the things that bring me sorrow and joy,

Someone who can see the real me,

though out all the noise.

Because the real me,

she’s really scared.

She thinks no one out here really cares

Sad thing is,

they prove her right everyday.

For where are the ones who promised to stay?

Where are the ones who promised to stand by me?

The ones who promised to always be there?

Did they grow tired and decide not the stay?

Or was it just me….that pushed them away

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Unfinished Business……..

You have surpassed them all

You…

have reached into the depths of me,

invaded my heart

and caressed my soul.

You spoke unto me and soothed my being,

with a connection so powerful,

that a part of me will be

Forever yours.

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Introvert is the new black

I for one, am completely fed up of the internet’s obsession with being introverted. There are a gazillion list out there about “10 signs about being an introvert” “how to understand introverts” OR “What extraverts need to understand about introverts”. Does anyone out here really care. While i dont find anything wrong with realizing that you are either introverted or extraverted, i do find something wrong when people obsess over it and act as if they are God’s gift to humanity because of their introversion. It may not be on purpose but it comes across like you think introversion makes you more mature or more sophisticated or even more special. We are all special in different way, but we shouldnt let this one thing define us. Dwelling on this one part of our personality and why it makes us “awesome” has made us a little self centered and narcissist. Yes it’s nice to know what understand parts of ourselves, but it’s not nice to use that to make us feel that we are in some way more special or better than others.

PS. As I said, there’s nothing wrong with identifying with the term introvert ( I myself, am an introvert) but thats not all I am and thats not all you are

Anyways…Peace Love and Pizza 🙂

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I Want To Be Somebody’s Number One

Couldn’t have written this better myself……I swear I think about this all the time

Thought Catalog

I want to be somebody’s number one. I want to have that one person I can guarantee will always be there for me, will always rub my scalp when I’m sick and tickle my back, will shack up with me during a natural disaster, will carry me through glass (metaphorically speaking, of course) whenever I’m feeling depressed and don’t want to get out of bed. There’ll be no worry if I’m going to brave things alone. I’ll have a teammate, a partner to cushion the blow.

I’m beginning to see the point of having a relationship. More and more, it seems like their purpose is not to necessarily provide you with love but to keep you far away from hate. As you get older, life begins to show you its true colors and sometimes those colors look like shit. That’s why it’s important to have someone by your side who…

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I Still Think About You

Nostalgic……

Thought Catalog

Though a huge part of our largely-silent, post-dating acquaintanceship is based on the idea that neither of us have any interest in the other — that whatever happened between us is something entirely left in the past to wither and rot — I still think of you. I am not sure if that makes me the weak one in the equation (though I’m alright with it if I am), it’s just that the silence that is expected after separations seems too simple and, to be honest, too cruel. It’s as though a breakup of any kind means that whatever existed before is now somehow erased from the mutual history of both partners, never to be acknowledged again — and that just feels ridiculous.

And saying that I miss you wouldn’t quite be the right term, either, though I know that admitting you still think of someone you used to love…

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