The Big Dreamer

Be the Change You want to see in the World

Reading & Dreaming

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He doesn’t love you

So we all have  had this guy(or girl) in our lives, maybe we still do.

He tells you how special you are, how much you are important to him, how different you are from all the other girls.

But He does not love you.

He texts you the sweetest things, tell you of your unfailing beauty and your adorable charm.

But He does not love you.

He claims that your sense of  humor is one of the best he ever experienced. That you are one of the few people that can always put a smile on his face.

But He does not love you.

He shares with you his darkest secrets, his innermost thoughts and the strongest of his desires.

But He does not love you.

He talks to you about anything and everything that is going either wrong or right in his life.

But He does not love you.

He tells you that he needs you and cannot fathom his life without you.

But He does not love you.

But…….. While he just might  care for you or appreciate you, He does not love you….. the way you want him to.

I have learnt this the hard way,

that if someone had truly loved you and cherished you, they would stop at nothing to protect, to be there for You and to just BE WITH YOU.

If he had loved you, he would be with you and nothing would be in his way. No excuse, such as, I need to see what else there is out but I know we will be together one day, will keep him from you.

Cuz if he really loved you, none of that would matter.

I have finally realised…..

That He does not love Me! 

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Book review: Almost by Anne Eliot

I found this book to be such an easy read. I loved the descriptiveness of the author’s writing and the characters were extremely well developed. The chemistry between Jess and Gray was fantastic and the love that bloomed between them was realistic, seemingly unconditional and sweet.

Personally, i like characters that seem to have a few flaws and even though there are some that might disagree, I found the many masks of Jess refreshing from the usual girls that most books portray.
Most might find the author was too descriptive with regards to the characters expressing their emotions, but one has to remember that even though this is not said, the implication is that, THIS IS A STORY OF FIRST LOVE so feelings would be intense and scary and this book did a wonderful job of transferring those feelings to the readers.

When reading this book, I got butterflies, I blushed and I was reminded of what it was like to be falling in love for the FIRST TIME!!! Gray was corny but who wasn’t at 17… it was cute 🙂

The plot was also well thought out and the concept of a fake boyfriend proved to be extremely interesting. Even though it was inevitable and obvious that a feelings would develop from this deal, the story along the way to the point of a relationship was WORTH IT!

One flaw, (well not flaw) but improvement to the book would have been the conclusion of Jess’s nightmares not being resolved as easily and as quick after realizing the truth as it did.

The Love Story of Jess Jordan and Gray Porter is one of the best I’ve read for the year, and I have read a lot.

Fave line: “God, I wish I could see your face when I ask you this question.
Here goes: Is there a chance you could love me? Even a little?
Because I do – love you.”

Aaaahhh i could have died!!!

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The Various Ways I’ve Been Friend Zone’d

Hahahahah …funny stuff

Thought Catalog

This may or may not come as a shock to you considering my unabashed affinity for obscure reality television, but I’ve never had a boyfriend.  Not for lack of trying, mind you; I’ve got plenty of boy friends — i.e. friends who are boys—who would make excellent companions, which is likely why I have harbored crushes on most of them at one point or another in our friendship.  Unfortunately, the feeling was never mutual — by some cruel design, it seems I’m destined to live in an episode of True Life: I’m In The Friend Zone.

The only good things to come out of my circumstance are the stories I have picked up along the way. Maybe I have a high percentage of weird friends, but most of them forego the whole, “hey, you’re really cool, but I’m not interested” route, opting instead for much more obscure methods of letting…

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Why He Will Never Love You


Thought Catalog

You’re kissing this boy right now. You’re kissing him and he’s kissing you. Actually, he’s not really kissing you. He might be moving his mouth in the correct ways and moaning but he’s gone. He’s not here right now. Leave a message at the beep. You’re kissing his mouth and soon you’ll be kissing his neck and finally you’ll be kissing his cock but you mustn’t forget something: you are never kissing his heart. Not even close.

Remember that this boy is an asshole and he has been sent here on Earth to destroy open-hearted people like you. He’s here to tarnish your self-esteem and leave you in pieces. He’s here to be a chapter in your book, and you a pithy footnote in his. You will have two wildly different interpretations of the relationship and when the stories don’t match up, it will make you feel like you’re losing…

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10 Ways Shy People Flirt

aahhhh (hides face) ten out of ten :/

Thought Catalog

1. Seek Eye Contact… Kind of

This is a common occurrence for shy folks — look at person you’re trying to flirt with — they’re not looking? Look away. Try again. Still not looking at you? Look away. Again? Yes! Ah, there’s successfully been eye contact made! It’s happening RIGHT NOW — hurry, look away immediately! Your heart is beating quickly and your pits are moist. (I used the word moist to make sure you’re a little uncomfortable just reading this.) The thing about shy flirters is that they want to make and not make eye contact at the same time.

2. Crossing Their Fearful Little Fingers

That’s right, sometimes a shy person knows good ‘n well that they lack the courage to initiate potentially positive interaction, so all they can do is say a prayer and hope that the other person notices their existence. “Maybe if I sit here in this…

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25 Things I’ve Learned In My 20s

Very Interesting… especially for me, seeing that I’m turning 20 next month

Thought Catalog

  1. You can’t date a jerk and expect to turn them into a good person. Jerks are fully committed to being unpleasant. Those brief moments of tenderness they give you are designed to trip you up and give you false hope. It’s best to stay away altogether.
  2. The rumors are true: your metabolism does slow down as you get older! That means if you’re still eating whatever you want, there’s a good chance you’ll start to gain an awkward amount of weight. It won’t be too drastic but your clothes will start to hang differently on your body and you’ll feel an overall feeling of unattractiveness. Start to be conscious of what you eat and strive to live a healthier lifestyle if you want to get your teen body back. (Let’s be real though, that might not ever come back.)
  3. You’re going to lose touch with a lot of your friends…

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So me!!!

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There is perfection in imperfections :)

Its one thing to have high expectations for yourself…. but when those expectations are at an unattainable level where you hate yourself for not reaching them…. that’s when things get complicated.

There’s nothing wrong with keeping your self expectations high, but don’t forget to love yourself if you don’t always make it.

This is one of my greatest problems, I beat myself up all the time when I cant reach the standards I set for myself. And to tell the honest truth, because of this problem, I look at myself as a big fat failure sometimes.

I haven’t completely removed this problem but I’m working on it : )

Remember Nobody’s perfect …. not even those we think so highly of or those who make it seem they don’t have a bother in the world.

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In Love with a Memory

When will this memory of the perfect love stop haunting me ….


When I come to the realisation that it’s far from perfect….and I have 🙂

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