The Big Dreamer

Be the Change You want to see in the World

The day I realised that I was a Bitch

on June 5, 2013

Not Babe In Total Control of Herself….not that ! But an actual bitch.

I’ve always thought that it was others who were mean and insensitive and I was always surely misunderstood. But lately I’ve been doing some thinking, since someone I realise I trust (only because I know they’re not biased in any way or full of complete shit)and whose opinion actually matters to me, pointed out that she thought I was mean. At first, I thought she was kidding, I mean, how could I be mean. I always made sure to be nice to those who i thought was having a bad day or a rough time, the poor and the disabled. I’M NICE. So i continued joking… “yeah right, Im nice to you”  was my great rebuttal. (Lame right)

Anyway since then i did some digging, on me and my persona. I have lately come to realise that although i be nice to people who i think need it and i have an incredibly soft spot for the poor and disabled, I either, be sarcastic to my friends (i call this humor) or don’t show them the nice sides of my personality. So in conclusion, I SUCK!

Because on the outside I seem like a cold and frigid bitch who makes sarcastic jokes and doesn’t like to talk to people unneccesarily.

The worst part is..I cant help it, its just who i am. So for all those i have hurt with my aloofness and distance, Im Sorry 😦

Btw…. Anyone else have this problem, Im curious to know how you deal with it.

Also I wonder if this may be an INFJ thing… let me know if you agree.

I think i should note though, that while people may think i’m mean from afar, when they get to know me they always realise that Im the complete opposite 😀

Thanks for listening… Bye 🙂


6 responses to “The day I realised that I was a Bitch

  1. sassypanties says:

    First of all I don’t know what INFJ is.

    Second of all – I don’t know how old you are…but I’m almost 42. And let me tell you something…I am the way I am. If people don’t like it? Not. My. Problem. I’m over trying to impress people and act like something I’m not. There are plenty of people who accept me – flaws and bitchiness and all – and there are those that don’t. And I’m perfectly okay with that.

    I worked at a bank about 15 years ago and they tried to get me to change the way I interact with my customers – who, BEETEEDUBS, would wait in a line 5 deep to be waited on by ME, and when I tried to fit into their mold, something inside of me died. I decided from that moment on, no one is going to change the person that I organically am. They don’t like it? They can move on.

    I realize someone you know and respect gave you this feedback, but why would anyone that loves you or even *likes* you try to change who you are as a person.

    Let your bitch flag fly, my sista.

    • I get what your saying, we don’t have to change ourselves for people to accept us, they should like us the way we are. Bt thats the thing, i may be a little bitchy but not to the extent people believe me to everyone kind of gets the wrong idea you know. Thanks for the advice tho 🙂

  2. Epi B says:

    Oh I totally follow you. I have the same problem all though I have gotten used to seeing shocked, disappointed or hurt faces after one of my (imo) great jokes. Yes they are often at someone’s expense and yes they often point out some truth people may not be ready to acknowledge (yet) but there is no way I am going to let a good joke pass by!
    And I have just come to the conclusion that the people that stay out of my way after one of those incidents, weren’t going to be my friends anyway… Now we can just stop pretending we might…. Does that make sense?

  3. Colin says:

    Hey there fellow INFJ, I can totally relate especially when you said “because on the outside I seem like a cold and frigid bitch who makes sarcastic jokes and doesn’t like to talk to people unnecessarily.” I’ve been told by a close friend of mine that my comments/jokes towards others are harsh at times, but like I am just point out truths….bluntly, anyway I’ve always believed that my statements doesn’t have to be liked. Is like I’m a bitch at times, Im not here to beg you to like me, deal with it- be yourself , stay true to yourself is what I believe what is most important. Im glad that I have friends acknowledges me that I go on to bitch mode, I’m not sure if this is applicable to you or not but maybe you could express yourself in a different way that when you are making jokes so they can clearly know you are being sarcastic (I also have this problem, but my friend knows Im on “”bitchy”” mode)? Im not sure if this make sense..

    • Yes It makes perfect sense. I realise now that to be my friend, one needs to have a good sense of humor and not take every comment so seriously, and just as well, I need to be more aware of what I say, even though I know I’m just joking. Thanks for your comment btw. Always great knowing that you’re not alone 🙂

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