The Big Dreamer

Be the Change You want to see in the World

I only trust me

Hidden I am
And hidden I shall remain
Hidden from the world
All its tumultuous pain
Hidden from the friends
Who are foes underneath
Wolves in sheep’s clothing
Their intentions discreet
Hidden from the liars
Who never mean what they state
I’ll make sure that my heart
They never manipulate
Hidden within my shell
They will do me no harm
Heart buried deep beneath my armour
No need to be alarmed
But how lonely it does get
When you hide who you are
For the sweetness of companionship
Is so very far
But maybe that’s better
From their oncoming pain I’m free
I’ll remain by myself
At least that way I’m sure the only pain …comes from me

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Note to self

Lick your wounds

Get back up

You’re better than this

And you’re better than him

How did you allow things to get this far

How could allow yourself to fall this hard

You always knew it was temporary

You were temporary

You always knew he was full of shit

Bt yet you handed him your heart anyway

Like an innocent fool,

you gave him what you guarded so obsessively

You gave him what nobody is even allowed to see

And he touched it

And caressed it

And kissed it

And he made it feel like it was on the sweetest fire …one that warmed your cold core and surged through your body

Breaking every barrier you’ve ever built

Until touching turned into stabbing

And kissing turned into biting

That fire soon peeled away at all of your layers…..leaving you bare and exposed…and rejected

You gave him what you showed no one

And he kicked it

He didn’t care about its beauty

About the intensity that hid within

You knew this would have happened

But you can’t help who you fall for

Can you?

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He doesn’t love you

So we all have  had this guy(or girl) in our lives, maybe we still do.

He tells you how special you are, how much you are important to him, how different you are from all the other girls.

But He does not love you.

He texts you the sweetest things, tell you of your unfailing beauty and your adorable charm.

But He does not love you.

He claims that your sense of  humor is one of the best he ever experienced. That you are one of the few people that can always put a smile on his face.

But He does not love you.

He shares with you his darkest secrets, his innermost thoughts and the strongest of his desires.

But He does not love you.

He talks to you about anything and everything that is going either wrong or right in his life.

But He does not love you.

He tells you that he needs you and cannot fathom his life without you.

But He does not love you.

But…….. While he just might  care for you or appreciate you, He does not love you….. the way you want him to.

I have learnt this the hard way,

that if someone had truly loved you and cherished you, they would stop at nothing to protect, to be there for You and to just BE WITH YOU.

If he had loved you, he would be with you and nothing would be in his way. No excuse, such as, I need to see what else there is out but I know we will be together one day, will keep him from you.

Cuz if he really loved you, none of that would matter.

I have finally realised…..

That He does not love Me! 

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