The Big Dreamer

Be the Change You want to see in the World

I only trust me

Hidden I am
And hidden I shall remain
Hidden from the world
All its tumultuous pain
Hidden from the friends
Who are foes underneath
Wolves in sheep’s clothing
Their intentions discreet
Hidden from the liars
Who never mean what they state
I’ll make sure that my heart
They never manipulate
Hidden within my shell
They will do me no harm
Heart buried deep beneath my armour
No need to be alarmed
But how lonely it does get
When you hide who you are
For the sweetness of companionship
Is so very far
But maybe that’s better
From their oncoming pain I’m free
I’ll remain by myself
At least that way I’m sure the only pain …comes from me

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The things I wish I understood

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Sorrow

I know it well

But for what reason

I can never tell

I’m usually quite happy

On the surface …yeah I am

But this sorrow brews inside me

Waiting for its time

Like lava it erupts from deep within

And rises high above

Taking away my passion and zeal

For everything that I love

Rising higher and higher

Until it bubbles in my throat

I cannot speak

I cannot scream

I can only write these notes :/

Dearest sorrow

You cling to me like paper stuck to my shoe

Tell me why you’re here

Tell what you want

Tell me what can i do

What is it that I lack…that draws us to each other?

Wont you please tell me ..my old friend?

Let me be joyous once again

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Introvert is the new black

I for one, am completely fed up of the internet’s obsession with being introverted. There are a gazillion list out there about “10 signs about being an introvert” “how to understand introverts” OR “What extraverts need to understand about introverts”. Does anyone out here really care. While i dont find anything wrong with realizing that you are either introverted or extraverted, i do find something wrong when people obsess over it and act as if they are God’s gift to humanity because of their introversion. It may not be on purpose but it comes across like you think introversion makes you more mature or more sophisticated or even more special. We are all special in different way, but we shouldnt let this one thing define us. Dwelling on this one part of our personality and why it makes us “awesome” has made us a little self centered and narcissist. Yes it’s nice to know what understand parts of ourselves, but it’s not nice to use that to make us feel that we are in some way more special or better than others.

PS. As I said, there’s nothing wrong with identifying with the term introvert ( I myself, am an introvert) but thats not all I am and thats not all you are

Anyways…Peace Love and Pizza 🙂

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I Want To Be Somebody’s Number One

Couldn’t have written this better myself……I swear I think about this all the time

Thought Catalog

I want to be somebody’s number one. I want to have that one person I can guarantee will always be there for me, will always rub my scalp when I’m sick and tickle my back, will shack up with me during a natural disaster, will carry me through glass (metaphorically speaking, of course) whenever I’m feeling depressed and don’t want to get out of bed. There’ll be no worry if I’m going to brave things alone. I’ll have a teammate, a partner to cushion the blow.

I’m beginning to see the point of having a relationship. More and more, it seems like their purpose is not to necessarily provide you with love but to keep you far away from hate. As you get older, life begins to show you its true colors and sometimes those colors look like shit. That’s why it’s important to have someone by your side who…

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I Still Think About You

Nostalgic……

Thought Catalog

Though a huge part of our largely-silent, post-dating acquaintanceship is based on the idea that neither of us have any interest in the other — that whatever happened between us is something entirely left in the past to wither and rot — I still think of you. I am not sure if that makes me the weak one in the equation (though I’m alright with it if I am), it’s just that the silence that is expected after separations seems too simple and, to be honest, too cruel. It’s as though a breakup of any kind means that whatever existed before is now somehow erased from the mutual history of both partners, never to be acknowledged again — and that just feels ridiculous.

And saying that I miss you wouldn’t quite be the right term, either, though I know that admitting you still think of someone you used to love…

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The day I realised that I was a Bitch

Not Babe In Total Control of Herself….not that ! But an actual bitch.

I’ve always thought that it was others who were mean and insensitive and I was always surely misunderstood. But lately I’ve been doing some thinking, since someone I realise I trust (only because I know they’re not biased in any way or full of complete shit)and whose opinion actually matters to me, pointed out that she thought I was mean. At first, I thought she was kidding, I mean, how could I be mean. I always made sure to be nice to those who i thought was having a bad day or a rough time, the poor and the disabled. I’M NICE. So i continued joking… “yeah right, Im nice to you”  was my great rebuttal. (Lame right)

Anyway since then i did some digging, on me and my persona. I have lately come to realise that although i be nice to people who i think need it and i have an incredibly soft spot for the poor and disabled, I either, be sarcastic to my friends (i call this humor) or don’t show them the nice sides of my personality. So in conclusion, I SUCK!

Because on the outside I seem like a cold and frigid bitch who makes sarcastic jokes and doesn’t like to talk to people unneccesarily.

The worst part is..I cant help it, its just who i am. So for all those i have hurt with my aloofness and distance, Im Sorry 😦

Btw…. Anyone else have this problem, Im curious to know how you deal with it.

Also I wonder if this may be an INFJ thing… let me know if you agree.

I think i should note though, that while people may think i’m mean from afar, when they get to know me they always realise that Im the complete opposite 😀

Thanks for listening… Bye 🙂

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Say a Little Something about Yourself

Don’t we all!!! :/
The tenants of my apartment thought it would have been a good idea to get to know each other… and I had to sit in literally a circle of strangers and “talk” … Naturally i just stared and smiled when necessary 😀 LOL

INFJoe Cartoons

I dread this.

AaronTCaycedoKimura

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Reading & Dreaming

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The Various Ways I’ve Been Friend Zone’d

Hahahahah …funny stuff

Thought Catalog

This may or may not come as a shock to you considering my unabashed affinity for obscure reality television, but I’ve never had a boyfriend.  Not for lack of trying, mind you; I’ve got plenty of boy friends — i.e. friends who are boys—who would make excellent companions, which is likely why I have harbored crushes on most of them at one point or another in our friendship.  Unfortunately, the feeling was never mutual — by some cruel design, it seems I’m destined to live in an episode of True Life: I’m In The Friend Zone.

The only good things to come out of my circumstance are the stories I have picked up along the way. Maybe I have a high percentage of weird friends, but most of them forego the whole, “hey, you’re really cool, but I’m not interested” route, opting instead for much more obscure methods of letting…

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Why He Will Never Love You

insightful…

Thought Catalog

You’re kissing this boy right now. You’re kissing him and he’s kissing you. Actually, he’s not really kissing you. He might be moving his mouth in the correct ways and moaning but he’s gone. He’s not here right now. Leave a message at the beep. You’re kissing his mouth and soon you’ll be kissing his neck and finally you’ll be kissing his cock but you mustn’t forget something: you are never kissing his heart. Not even close.

Remember that this boy is an asshole and he has been sent here on Earth to destroy open-hearted people like you. He’s here to tarnish your self-esteem and leave you in pieces. He’s here to be a chapter in your book, and you a pithy footnote in his. You will have two wildly different interpretations of the relationship and when the stories don’t match up, it will make you feel like you’re losing…

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