The Big Dreamer

Be the Change You want to see in the World

The day I realised that I was a Bitch

Not Babe In Total Control of Herself….not that ! But an actual bitch.

I’ve always thought that it was others who were mean and insensitive and I was always surely misunderstood. But lately I’ve been doing some thinking, since someone I realise I trust (only because I know they’re not biased in any way or full of complete shit)and whose opinion actually matters to me, pointed out that she thought I was mean. At first, I thought she was kidding, I mean, how could I be mean. I always made sure to be nice to those who i thought was having a bad day or a rough time, the poor and the disabled. I’M NICE. So i continued joking… “yeah right, Im nice to you”  was my great rebuttal. (Lame right)

Anyway since then i did some digging, on me and my persona. I have lately come to realise that although i be nice to people who i think need it and i have an incredibly soft spot for the poor and disabled, I either, be sarcastic to my friends (i call this humor) or don’t show them the nice sides of my personality. So in conclusion, I SUCK!

Because on the outside I seem like a cold and frigid bitch who makes sarcastic jokes and doesn’t like to talk to people unneccesarily.

The worst part is..I cant help it, its just who i am. So for all those i have hurt with my aloofness and distance, Im Sorry 😦

Btw…. Anyone else have this problem, Im curious to know how you deal with it.

Also I wonder if this may be an INFJ thing… let me know if you agree.

I think i should note though, that while people may think i’m mean from afar, when they get to know me they always realise that Im the complete opposite 😀

Thanks for listening… Bye 🙂


Say a Little Something about Yourself

Don’t we all!!! :/
The tenants of my apartment thought it would have been a good idea to get to know each other… and I had to sit in literally a circle of strangers and “talk” … Naturally i just stared and smiled when necessary 😀 LOL

INFJoe Cartoons

I dread this.


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Reading & Dreaming

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He doesn’t love you

So we all have  had this guy(or girl) in our lives, maybe we still do.

He tells you how special you are, how much you are important to him, how different you are from all the other girls.

But He does not love you.

He texts you the sweetest things, tell you of your unfailing beauty and your adorable charm.

But He does not love you.

He claims that your sense of  humor is one of the best he ever experienced. That you are one of the few people that can always put a smile on his face.

But He does not love you.

He shares with you his darkest secrets, his innermost thoughts and the strongest of his desires.

But He does not love you.

He talks to you about anything and everything that is going either wrong or right in his life.

But He does not love you.

He tells you that he needs you and cannot fathom his life without you.

But He does not love you.

But…….. While he just might  care for you or appreciate you, He does not love you….. the way you want him to.

I have learnt this the hard way,

that if someone had truly loved you and cherished you, they would stop at nothing to protect, to be there for You and to just BE WITH YOU.

If he had loved you, he would be with you and nothing would be in his way. No excuse, such as, I need to see what else there is out but I know we will be together one day, will keep him from you.

Cuz if he really loved you, none of that would matter.

I have finally realised…..

That He does not love Me! 

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Book review: Almost by Anne Eliot

I found this book to be such an easy read. I loved the descriptiveness of the author’s writing and the characters were extremely well developed. The chemistry between Jess and Gray was fantastic and the love that bloomed between them was realistic, seemingly unconditional and sweet.

Personally, i like characters that seem to have a few flaws and even though there are some that might disagree, I found the many masks of Jess refreshing from the usual girls that most books portray.
Most might find the author was too descriptive with regards to the characters expressing their emotions, but one has to remember that even though this is not said, the implication is that, THIS IS A STORY OF FIRST LOVE so feelings would be intense and scary and this book did a wonderful job of transferring those feelings to the readers.

When reading this book, I got butterflies, I blushed and I was reminded of what it was like to be falling in love for the FIRST TIME!!! Gray was corny but who wasn’t at 17… it was cute 🙂

The plot was also well thought out and the concept of a fake boyfriend proved to be extremely interesting. Even though it was inevitable and obvious that a feelings would develop from this deal, the story along the way to the point of a relationship was WORTH IT!

One flaw, (well not flaw) but improvement to the book would have been the conclusion of Jess’s nightmares not being resolved as easily and as quick after realizing the truth as it did.

The Love Story of Jess Jordan and Gray Porter is one of the best I’ve read for the year, and I have read a lot.

Fave line: “God, I wish I could see your face when I ask you this question.
Here goes: Is there a chance you could love me? Even a little?
Because I do – love you.”

Aaaahhh i could have died!!!

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The Various Ways I’ve Been Friend Zone’d

Hahahahah …funny stuff

Thought Catalog

This may or may not come as a shock to you considering my unabashed affinity for obscure reality television, but I’ve never had a boyfriend.  Not for lack of trying, mind you; I’ve got plenty of boy friends — i.e. friends who are boys—who would make excellent companions, which is likely why I have harbored crushes on most of them at one point or another in our friendship.  Unfortunately, the feeling was never mutual — by some cruel design, it seems I’m destined to live in an episode of True Life: I’m In The Friend Zone.

The only good things to come out of my circumstance are the stories I have picked up along the way. Maybe I have a high percentage of weird friends, but most of them forego the whole, “hey, you’re really cool, but I’m not interested” route, opting instead for much more obscure methods of letting…

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Why He Will Never Love You


Thought Catalog

You’re kissing this boy right now. You’re kissing him and he’s kissing you. Actually, he’s not really kissing you. He might be moving his mouth in the correct ways and moaning but he’s gone. He’s not here right now. Leave a message at the beep. You’re kissing his mouth and soon you’ll be kissing his neck and finally you’ll be kissing his cock but you mustn’t forget something: you are never kissing his heart. Not even close.

Remember that this boy is an asshole and he has been sent here on Earth to destroy open-hearted people like you. He’s here to tarnish your self-esteem and leave you in pieces. He’s here to be a chapter in your book, and you a pithy footnote in his. You will have two wildly different interpretations of the relationship and when the stories don’t match up, it will make you feel like you’re losing…

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10 Ways Shy People Flirt

aahhhh (hides face) ten out of ten :/

Thought Catalog

1. Seek Eye Contact… Kind of

This is a common occurrence for shy folks — look at person you’re trying to flirt with — they’re not looking? Look away. Try again. Still not looking at you? Look away. Again? Yes! Ah, there’s successfully been eye contact made! It’s happening RIGHT NOW — hurry, look away immediately! Your heart is beating quickly and your pits are moist. (I used the word moist to make sure you’re a little uncomfortable just reading this.) The thing about shy flirters is that they want to make and not make eye contact at the same time.

2. Crossing Their Fearful Little Fingers

That’s right, sometimes a shy person knows good ‘n well that they lack the courage to initiate potentially positive interaction, so all they can do is say a prayer and hope that the other person notices their existence. “Maybe if I sit here in this…

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25 Things I’ve Learned In My 20s

Very Interesting… especially for me, seeing that I’m turning 20 next month

Thought Catalog

  1. You can’t date a jerk and expect to turn them into a good person. Jerks are fully committed to being unpleasant. Those brief moments of tenderness they give you are designed to trip you up and give you false hope. It’s best to stay away altogether.
  2. The rumors are true: your metabolism does slow down as you get older! That means if you’re still eating whatever you want, there’s a good chance you’ll start to gain an awkward amount of weight. It won’t be too drastic but your clothes will start to hang differently on your body and you’ll feel an overall feeling of unattractiveness. Start to be conscious of what you eat and strive to live a healthier lifestyle if you want to get your teen body back. (Let’s be real though, that might not ever come back.)
  3. You’re going to lose touch with a lot of your friends…

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So me!!!

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